Parents – how could one ever describe that which make up a parent?
Is it the mere qualification of giving birth makes one that or is it their deeds that bestow such a status?
If the sole criterion was to be the former, then Nanda Gopan & Yashodha wouldn’t have ever been considered as parents of Lord Krishna. Hence by inference, it can be safely taken that deeds done too play a part in describing one as a parent. To go one step further deeds done are of great importance.
Now coming to the question of ideal qualities that make up a parent, the following are some of the basic indicators, even though there can be numerous other yardsticks:
- Giving birth
- Feeding
- Protecting
- Inculcating habits
- Disseminating knowledge
- Controlling
These qualities apply, regardless whether there is a single child or multiple ones. Coming to the question as regards their duties towards multiple children, some of them that occur to my mind are (I don’t profess to know much, whatever little I understand):
- Loving & caring
- Sharing
- Generating bonding between children by eliminating jealously, hatred etc
All this has to be done in an unbiased manner.
(Shastras even say that the most incapacitated son is the one to be attended to most)
Now with all the prelude, I endeavour to place a small question before you people;
Is it worth ascribing the tag of parents to a couple when they are prejudiced to a child?
(Everybody started wondering on my harshness eh!)
Yes! There is such a couple in this universe, who are prejudiced towards a single child of theirs, especially, in the presence of the child; cares nothing about every other child; bestows their undivided attention only to him.
What remedy do the other rightful children have against such a couple. If they can be tried under earthly laws, they will surely be punishable but pity that they are the last court of appeal.
(Hmmm! enough pf my roundabout talks – coming to the matter)
All this was about the happenings of 16th of this month when the Jaganmatha (Goddess Perundevi) and Jagathpitha (Lord Varadaraja) – parents of the universe - got so much biased to their son Swami Desika during his birthday visit.
The whole day the divine couple were devoted to only one person and that was; needless to say; our Swami.
At times, it looked annoying for me, as to why they rubbished the presence of so many other children of theirs.
From the morning, when the sanctum was open, it seemed the father and mother had nothing but ecstasy awaiting their favourite son’s arrival. They dressed themselves up quite magnificently befitting only such an occasion. Even our great father summoned up our mother to seat beside him, which he never does in the mirror room, but for this occasion (Mahanavami coupled with Swami’s Thirunakshatram). The intimacy appeared to me like a state of extreme exaltation where the couple were embracing each other unable to withstand the joy comingforth. And thus they kept awaiting the big palanquin which was sent to bring their son with honour.
On the other hand, Our Swami (I neither have the rights or the words to comment on him – but still out of ignorance and his big heartedness I do so) all decked up to match the exquisiteness of his parents (on this day they belonged only to him), finished his daily pooja to his deity (Lord Hayagriva), saluted to his Landlord (Lord Deepa Prakasa) and Landlady (Goddess Maragathavalli) and set out handsomely in his parents palanquin. All the way (as though bowing to the streets stepped on by the lord) with folded hands greeted people to come along with him to seek the blessings of our parents.
When he got out of the palanquin inside the temple, his face was glowing at its best and that smile; would’ve made the revered conch panchajanya to beg for beauty; seemed to announce the world that the son has arrived to give utmost happiness to his parents. Thus he entered the temple and marched commandingly yet with dignity and respectfulness, bowing to every other relative (the other deities of the temple) he met on his way.
After saluting everybody he came to the abode (mirror room) of his parents and was made to come close to their feet and from that moment everything was shut from the minds of the treble. The lord who is not supposed to lose sight of the happenings of the universe even for a split-second, got insane and forgot his duties, so did the mother, even the child that there were so many around them. All these three were so completely absorbed within themselves that I can bet with utmost confidence that the greatest crime in front of their eyes would’ve gone unnoticed.
They greeted, chatted, smiled, laughed, rejoiced, ate etc, but only among themselves. Not a care for the souls standing around.
At such an hour it looked the most preposterous thing to pray or ask for anything either to the divine couple or to our Swami. How could one describe the situation when a mother cares nothing for her other children? Not even a glance could she deliver towards the others. (This was my feeling – hope the other Bhagavathas too felt the same way). One can only admire and feel jealous at the amount of love & affection shared between them. One can’t give an act to create such an effect. It has to come from within and only from them & between them.
At last, came the hour when they had to depart. Now the faces, which were flushing with happiness, suddenly started drooping, eyes became pale, body started withering, heart got heavy, and tears ran down their eyes. It was as though the other children (we) got jealous of such an influential relationship, and decided to separate them.
It looked as though, even with the almighty, the law of nature held good. After so much of happiness there came the bitterest moment of their existence and this severance seemed to be a great equalizer; just to remind them that there are other children to be taken care of and other duties to be attended to.
Maybe such a blow is for departing from his own words (shastras), where it says parents ought to care more for the least capable as opposed to the most capable (Sarva Tantra Svatantra).
Now coming to my earlier question - is it right calling the Divine couple parents? And if so what is the punishment to be handed out for such a gross injustice?
Till now, I’ve been against my Lord, but the truth as it appeals to my foolish mind is:
When I spoke about qualities of parents, I mentioned developing bonding among children as an important quality and by such quality they are our parents. I bet none of us – (including me – why me because, the cheapest of thoughts against them came only to me) - ever envied the fortune Swami Desika enjoyed, on the contrary we were overjoyed. Thus by making us enjoy the fortune of our Swami, our parents have fulfilled their duties amply.
Coming to the punishment, when there is no offence on the first part how can there be a punishment? Moreover if any of us has really felt as being ignored, the separation of Swami from them is their biggest punishment. (I’m not saying they’ve to be punished, but they have done so much harm to themselves for being so lovable to our Swami).
Considering all the given circumstances, it seems that it is we who are to be incriminated for depriving our parents and Swami of their joy by severing them from one another (for a whole year).
(Note: Any untoward words here may be pardoned by my Lord, Mother, Swami and other Bhagavathas, for these were only the thought process that occurred to my mind while observing the days’ proceedings. From my heart, (They Know) I never had the intention to rebuke MY LORD or Swami.)
Tvadeka rakshasya mama tvameva Karunakara !
Na pravarthaya paapaani pravruthaani nivruthaya !!
Pithre brahmopadeshtreme Gurave dhaivathaayacha !
Praapyaaya praapakayaastu Venkatesaaya mangalam !!
